Introduce yourself!
Hey I’m … and we quickly talk about the groups we’re a part of, our strengths, drizzle some characteristics and finish with the all powerful “it’s because I value something bigger than me”. What is talked about less often is the way we deal with what we’re afraid of and what threatens us because it’s so ingrained into human nature we just associate it with a “fight or flight syndrome”.
The world we reside in is one that is rapidly changing for better or worse but the problems we face are not one we can flee from anymore. Rapid technological advances, diversifying groups, polarising politics across the world amidst a changing climate… How do we deal with change when change so often strikes us with fear and threats? It is the answer to this question that wraps up the 4-part series on Human Identity and Behaviour.
When we’re faced with something that we feel threatened by or when we’re in a situation that drives the fear in us, the human tendency wired into our survival instinct is to fight, or take flight.
Remember the example of environmental campaigning that we spoke about in the group identities post where a group of vegan activists stormed a steakhouse? We’re going to continue it in this post. If you’re unfamiliar with it, have a quick read before continuing.
Now when the group of activists stormed into a cafe and disrupted what would’ve been a routine, comfortable, cosy meal with a friend, family or partner, they would’ve felt angst, confused, and scared. With a megaphone beaming messages to the entire restaurant from the lead activist’s mouth, the customers don’t hear the campaign’s messages anymore – all they can hear and feel is their anger and/or fear.
Dealing with Negative Emotions
When we deal with anger, fear and other negative emotions (e.g. guilt, stress), our first instinct (and often the only instinct) is to get rid of them. What is the most likely response for the customers? Have their steak elsewhere and ignore all “vegans”, even though those were only a very tiny minority. How are people going to have future conversations about reducing meat intake in human diets after this bout of activism started trending on social media? It really hit home when I was reading the comments.
All the comments that had tens to hundreds of likes on it wasn’t about the need to eat less meat as it is more environmentally sustainable and ethical.
“How could they ruin a nice quiet time?!?! *angry face emoji*”
“I look forward to becoming a regular patron of the restaurant”
“Haha they want to do this to a steak house? How about we bring the steaks into your vegan cafes?”
“How can you tell if someone’s a vegan? They’ll tell you!”
“This is why the public do not take kind to vegans because they push their “agendas” onto others.”
“I’ve been a vegan for 30 years and I don’t agree with this, there is no moral high ground doing this.”
What’s going to happen when people who are vegan, vegetarian or trying to reduce their meat consumption steps into a meal gathering with friends or family in the future?
“Hey you’ve barely eaten anything, eat more of the beef.”
‘Oh no thank you, I don’t eat meat’
“Oh are you one of those vegan kind of people, you know the ones that was shouting in people’s faces in the restaurant? I saw it on the news”
Making an Already Difficult Message Harder to Share
It makes sharing your message about why you’ve changed your lifestyle that much harder because you’re spending even more effort defending or explaining the negative actions of others. You have to fight a fight before getting to the fight that’s going to make a difference – sharing your story of change.
Furthermore, many researchers have found that when people feel overwhelmed with an issue that demands them to change or life their life differently (e.g. climate change), they are more likely to feel apathetic about it (ignore, refuse to care, distant themselves from the problem).
Think back to a situation that made you sad or angry, what did you really want to feel instead of bad?
Happy. Because if you’re happy then it’s not bad anymore.
This is why we see many people seeking the trap of pleasurable things after having a bad day at work, a fight with a partner or when they’re feeling alone. People start living for right now. “Where is happiness?!” Pleasurable things are the easiest to get – chocolate, ice cream, alcohol, sex, dancing and many many more.
How fast do we run from our problems?
How fast did those customers in the steakhouse run away from the screeching megaphone? (mentally, because CCTV footage showed no one actually ditched their steak)
But even in our lives, when we run from problems, we do eventually choose to come back and solve it or the problem comes catching up anyways.
Are there effective strategies to cope with fear and threats? How can we use our fear in a positive way to change our behaviours in a way that is better for both ourselves and the environment?
Linking our Values to something Worth Pursuing
We need to understand our values and what’s worth pursuing in our lives, have a social support system that helps us cope in tough times filled with fear and resistance, and still find an outlet to try begin to make a change, to make a difference.
How can we make a difference that fits our values and lets us belong?
I want to talk a little bit about this because when we’re in a rut, heck even when we’re feeling great, the opportunity to change something for the better in our life is tough to find. The types of change can vary a lot as well.
Is there an effective way to search for something that’s going to help us make effective change and get out of the rut without it JUST being about pleasure and running away from our problems?
Look for meaning.
Meaning is what gives you this sense of fullness, when you are content, when you feel like there can be nothing else better right in this moment. Yes, stuffing myself with sushi tends to be one of those things but my bank account won’t budge below 0 so I continue searching.
Meaning isn’t the answer you get by flipping to the solutions page of your math text book. Meaning is the formula, the experience of fullness is one of the answers you’ll find and you’ll find many other answers.
Let meaning form your guide, let the formula take you through the process to the effective change you need, the effective changes the world needs by encouraging pro-environmental behaviours.
As one of the great philosophers Friedrich Nietzsche said, “[s]/he who has a why to live, can bear almost any how.”
The meaning formula is the why, the feeling of fullness is my how.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this quartet of blogs on human identity and behaviour. We’ve used environmental campaigns to develop more concrete examples of how an understanding of our holistic identity can be applied in the world of change today. If you’re interested in how to form habits to sustain change and wish to understand how expectations can play a role in understanding what works for you, consider visiting an earlier post I wrote on our 4 personality tendencies.
How can you make change for yourself and encourage change in others now that you:
- Have a better understanding of your values
- Learnt about how the groups around you shapes who you are
- Know how to deal with fear and threats by letting something meaningful in life be your guide
What is your story of change going to be?
KT out to finally catch a break.
Featured image: Photo by Joshua Newton on Unsplash
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